


Do I Look Like an Idiot?

by SIX_Calavera



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Skyrim
Genre: Argonian - Freeform, Argonian sex, F/M, Humorous, I was pretty commited to the lizard physiology, Near Death Experience, Neetrenaza x Reader, Other, Sex, Spoiled Sheltered Nord, based on the one thing he says to you, handjob, it gets weird around the crotch area, lots of focus on his scales, not that anyone even caares who he is he is the most random smallest side character, random side character story, so if youre into that, starts out hateful but you make up, the things Neetrenaza hated, youve been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 13:02:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15413508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SIX_Calavera/pseuds/SIX_Calavera
Summary: The Argonian had barely set eyes on you and already he was sneering, “The docks can be a dangerous place. Don't expect me to save you if you fall in.” he commented, under his breath.“Do I look like an idiot? Of course I won't fall in. Just focus on your work, dock hand.”You may have had great faith in the power and balance of your own legs but Neetrenaza knew better, he’d seen plenty of pompous fools like you fall underneath the waves. All thinking that the world revolves around them, but the water has a mind of it's own, and you don't know the ship nearly as well as the captain. No matter how renowned you name, or how much you money you have in your coffers, when the earth or sea beneath your feet is unsteady, you fall just like the rest of us.





	Do I Look Like an Idiot?

Windhelm was a bustling city. A bustling city of dissent and fanaticism, that is. Two states of mind that go oh-so well together. And people from both schools of thought could be found throughout the city. Well- not really, although you had barely just arrived, it was clear that lines were drawn in the sand between the Nords, Elves and Argonians.

But you hadn't come to Windhelm to stay, you were on your way through the docks and to a ship. 

The Argonian had barely set eyes on you and already he was sneering, “The docks can be a dangerous place. Don't expect me to save you if you fall in.” he commented, under his breath.

But you heard him and you were put off and instantly irritated with his tone. You fired back in a voice just as fiery. “Do I look like an idiot? Of course I won't fall in. Just focus on your work, dockhand.” 

But sadly for us all, boasting is often read by the cosmos as a sort of challenge. And since you so readily dismissed the poor Argonian and so easily placed yourself above him, lady luck saw fit to take this moment to knock you down a few pegs. 

Literally. 

You may have had great faith in the power and balance of your own legs but Neetrenaza knew better, he’d seen plenty of pompous fools like you fall underneath the waves. All thinking that the world revolves around them, but the water has a mind of it's own, and you don't know the ship nearly as well as the captain. No matter how renowned you name, or how much you money you have in your coffers, when the earth or sea beneath your feet is unsteady, you fall just like the rest of us. 

The captain was busy counting crates as you took your first tentative step onto his ship, the strong waves rocking the deck of the vessel shocked you and you wavered in your step. But you were already halfway there, caught in an awkward split between solid land and a wobbling vessel on the cold waters of Windhelm

You felt Neetrenaza’s eyes fall on you again, he had stopped his sweeping to catch you having a second thought. You swallowed hard, forcing one last push forward for fear that you would end up actually looking like an idiot. Your feet finally shared the same plane and you wobbled for a moment on your feet, threatening to fall backwards. But you flared your arms out and regained your balance. You looked back at Neetrenaza who was still staring at you, you cocked your brow, giving him a smug smirk. He raised his brows, shaking his head at your antics and turning back to his work.

You had never actually been on a boat, spending most of your time on your family's estate or in the market of your home city. But the argonian didn't know that, nor did he need to.  
You huffed, striding with a skip in your step as if you had suddenly become owner of the ship with that show of bravery and tenacity. 

But the water has a mind of its own. 

A strong wave suddenly rocked the ship, causing you to gasp and stumble from its force. 

And you don't know the ship nearly as well as the captain. 

You barely managed to stumble back onto some crates for support, but they shifted and didn't hold your wobbly legs sturdy enough. Your feet easily tangled in the rope that the captain intended to tie up the crates in. 

And when the earth beneath your feet is unsteady.

There was no hope of you regaining your balance by this point. In the most guiltily cliché way, you had been shown just how cruel and unfunny fate could be. 

You fall. Just like the rest of us.

You went over the edge of the ship, your feet tangled in thick, mariners rope. The water was hellishly cold, it instantly bit at your skin in a painful way, the shock of it hitting your chest instantly sucked the air out of you.  
Your body desperately wanted to inhale, your hissing from the cold water involuntary had made it impossible to breath in before going under the water. But if you gasped now, you'd die for sure, so you forced yourself to suffocate rather than inhale water. 

‘Great...’ you thought, ‘that was basically a scene out of a two-bit comedy, and I'm going to die from it. People will be whispering about this, my family will be victims of ridicule for years to come.’

And that Argonian. He must be laughing his damn tail off at this. Well, in that case it's probably a good thing that you're going to die. You won't have to look at his smug face. 

But the water really was quite cold, and you had lost feeling in your fingers and feet, making it unbearable to continue clawing at the surface. Your feet were tangled in the rope, so they were hardly any help either way. Fear was taking control, you really might die from this. 

But just before you said your last prayer, a figure cut through the water, impossibly fast. Leaving a shimmer of bubbles in its wake. A huge black shadow was gliding towards you. Swimming through the water with incredible ease. His tail flicking back and forth through the water with the fluidity of a fish, propelling him towards you with impressive speed. It must be that argonian. 

‘Great, if the drowning doesn't kill me, embarrassment might do me in.’ 

Your lungs were in pain, and your vision was going hazy, but before you go into the white light you felt strong arms wrap around you. Your vision blurred as darkness spilled around your eyes, your heart nearly pumped it's last rush of blood before you yourself were rushed back up to the surface.

In a dramatic splash of water, you and your rescuer broke the ocean's surface, quickly you took the biggest, heaving breath of your life before entering the most violent coughing fit. Sucking in the cold air as fast as you could you struggled trying not to start hyperventilating. You clutched onto your savior for dear life. He exhaled through his nose, expelling water in an admittedly majestic way. 

“If you squeeze any harder you'll drown us both.” He huffed, struggling to keep both your head and his own above water. Lucky for him, you reached the docks before your grip and weight pulled you both down into the icy deep. One of the sailors helped pry you from your savior’s shoulders, and pulling you onto the dock. The argonian quickly followed suit, heaving himself up, drenched in water, his work clothes sticking to his wet scales.

You were a shaky mess, refusing to move from your fetal position on the dock. Being out of the water was no better, the frigid air against your already cold body reached a boiling point of freezing. Along with teeth chattering so hard, they might shatter, perhaps he wasn't saving you at all and actually wanted you to suffer further, just somewhere where he could watch more easily.  
The argonian who had heroically pulled you out of the water went on to pull you up and against his shoulder yet again. Hugging you tightly to try and calm your body down from it's furious shivering. 

“I'll take her inside and put her in front of the fire, she’ll be fine. She can take the next ship out.” he explained quickly to the captain who nodded and went back to work.

“Get dried up miss, don't you worry,” The captain bellowed out to the two of you, “,the docks can be tricky, these things happen all the time!”

‘Things like this happen all the time. But not to me!’ you thought, teeth chattering too hard to even get a single word out. 

You could just about picture the damned dockhand’s smug face as he carried your nearly frozen body inside. It was the same dockhand that had jinxed you. Yes, it had to have been a jinx, some kind if unknown Argonian hex he put on you. 

He was the one that had threatened to leave you to die should you foolishly fall into the ocean. And yet here he was, it seems that even lowly dockhands know that they're better off in the good graces of important people rather than in their little black hit ledgers.... Not that you had one or would ever do such a thing but, he had been so very rude! You weren't use to such unpleasant encounters, you almost didn't know how to react.

It didn't matter that he had brought you to the, currently empty, workers quarters and sat you in front of the...delicious...sent by the gods... life saving, fire. He was a rude Argonian, who had mocked you, hexed you and if you had any kind of control over your motor functions and weren't so afraid of freezing to death you might have complained about the quality of these accommodations and maybe even slapped the man for good measure. These rooms were in desperate need of a woman's touch and maybe some throw pillows. But you were eager to regain feeling in your fingers and toes, so you kept your mouth shut, or rather- focused on keeping your teeth from chattering any further. The sooner you were dry and warm, the sooner you could get out of here. 

The Argonian sat you down in front of the fire.  
“You should probably take those off. Here.” the dockhand suddenly threw some incredibly scratchy material at you. You realized it was clothing and grimaced.

The argonian sighed tiredly, “Take it off, I didn't pull you out of the water just so you'd die from stubbornness. You'll dry faster, just do it.” he huffed, his already ragged, reptilian voice sounding all the more angry and hoarse. 

You couldn't even force out a retort, your body was still shivering violently...

“F- fine...th- these soaking wet clothes were ru- ruined anyway.” You replied. 

You went to clumsily pull your shirt over your head, pausing suddenly when you noticed that he hadn't made a move to turn away. You gave the argonian a suspicious look.

He rolled his eyes, “Don't flatter yourself.” he then turned around and went to dry himself up as well. 

He was facing away from you, grabbing a towel from a wardrobe in front of him. Satisfied he was no longer trying to peep at you, you pulled your shirt off, quickly pulling over the one he had tossed at you. The material was absolutely awful, you were sure it would turn out that you were allergic to it.

The argonian wiped his face dry and went to pull his own shirt off. With a flurry he exposed his shimmering scales to the calm light of the fire that you were sat in front of. He threw his shirt to the side, and you couldn't help but stare as you saw the flames dance in the reflection of his scales. Hundreds of dark green emeralds, shiny and glittering thanks to his dip into the frozen water. A dip he made. For you. 

You try to stand to remove your trousers, stumbling a bit with shaky legs and since you had yet to take your eyes of the Argonian you bumped clumsily against the bench you were sitting on. The argonian quickly turns around at the sound, likely quick enough to notice that your eyes were on him.

Your eyes go wide, “Hey, don't look!” you throw out instinctively, slightly embarrassed and anxious that he may have caught you staring. 

He looks offended, but turns around without anything more than an irritated huff.

You quickly remove your trousers and pull on the, itchy, commoners work pants. You sit down, rubbing your arms, feeling a thousand times better now that you have those wet clothes off you, despite the quality of the clothes not being up to your standards. 

He throws a towel over your head and sits close, with his legs straddling the bench you're both sitting on, and nearly wrapping his arms around you. You feel he’s way too close as soon as he sits. You recoil immediately, turning to look at him incredulously, you noticed he had never replaced his wet shirt, “What are you doing??” you ask, incredibly concerned.

He backs off a bit, “Settle down, princess.” he hisses, “My body is still hot from soaking up the morning sun. Dry clothes and a fire are all well and good, but you fell into a frozen ocean. You're only buying time before hypothermia sets in.”

He stated this all very matter of factly, he certainly had a lot of experience with this sort of thing. He also made it very clear in the tone of his voice that it was my fault that either of us were in this situation, and that refusing would just be another stupid decision on an apparently ever growing list.

You sighed, “Fine...” you relented, although still deeply dissatisfied, and leaned back into him.

His body was hot, his body temperature was still elevated from having soaked up the bright morning sun. It felt amazing, the heat he had stored in his body was helping tremendously, the weight of him was also helping soothe your shivering.

Now...he said he wouldn't dive in to help, but an Argonian really was the best equipped to go swimming in subzero waters. 

Your back was against his chest in one of the most uncomfortable embraces of your life. This day could not be going any worse...

“So...what's your name?” you asked tentatively, desperate to lessen the uncomfortable tension. As if talking would help...?

“Neetrenaza.” he answered plainly.

“Thank you, Ne- Neetrenaza.” you replied, surprisingly humbly. Even you had to admit that you were inches from death and the Argo- Neetrenaza had saved your skin. Thanking him was the right thing to do. 

His initial temperament was typical of an Argonian, in your experience. Cold and bitter. Always angry about their lot in life. But you supposed their demeanor was necessary considering the current state of the world.

He huffed in response, “Yeah, yeah. I guess even though you don't look like one, you really are an idiot.” 

Well he was definitely bitter. But he had still jumped into the water to save you. Why be so hostile and then stick his neck out for you anyway? 

You scoffed, shoving his arms off and scooting away, “I heard Argonians were prickly assholes, but you really take the cake.” you sneered.

“And all you Nords are the same...” Neetrenaza shot back, “...You all walk around like you're bigger and badder than everyone else. And perfectly happy watching folks like me do your dirty work.” punctuated with his thumb jabbing his chest.

“The only thing I have against against you, and you specifically, is your hostile attitude. Did you decide in the end to pull me out of the water just to mock me some more? That's a lot of trouble to go through just for the last laugh!” you spat at him.

He stared angrily into your eyes, “Well I didn't expect you to be so foolish as to actually fall in! But you Nords always think you know better.” 

You scoffed, shaking your head in disgust. But in the end you sighed defeatedly, “We're not all the same you know.”

Neetrenaza sneered at you, “Oh really? What makes you so different then? I bet you don't know about anything outside your mansion walls.” 

You crossed your arms, “Well! I suppose you're right. I've never even left my homestead. This is the first time I've ever travelled.” 

“What?” Neetrenaza questioned, “You've never been anywhere?”

“No??” You suddenly felt very defensive, “So??”

“How many places have you been to, huh?” You questioned accusingly.

Neetrenaza puffed out his chest, “I've seen my fair share of the world. Enough to know that yes, Nords are all the same, everywhere.” 

You hadn't been out in the world for very long..you really didn't know much about how it worked, you knew there was some kind of war going on but your parents had suffocated you with safety. There wasn't a lot of chances to know the full extent of what was going on in the world, along with you having the luxury of being far enough away from the conflict. But you had seen the injustices between the races of Tamriel. Yes, you were wealthy, and yes you believed you deserve the best, yes you were spoiled and sheltered, but...you would never really believe that one man was worth more than the other. He was a dockhand but...what reason was that to insult him by, you had acted out of fear and anger and now you regretted it.

“I'm...sorry, Neetrenaza. I shouldn't have insulted you as if your work was beneath me. I know that probably doesn't mean anything but I am sorry. I honestly...haven't spent much time out in the world, so there are a lot of things I don't know, and my home life I think most certainly didn't help but. As much as it may hurt...I am...willing to be wrong. Every now and then...”

Neetrenaza looked shocked at your confession, he was unexpectedly touched by your apology. 

His eyes blinked, and understanding glaze over them, “I... I know. I could tell by the way your eyes widened in fear when you first stepped on that boat. I shouldn't have scared you with my warning. I suppose, for a moment, I knew how you felt. It's a look I know well. You looked like a fish out of water.” 

Neetrenaza’s eyes travelled up to find that your gaze was angry once again.

“Oh,” he chuckled, realizing that you didn't appreciate his analogy, “Sorry. I just mean, I understand. I went through something...slightly similar. I left my home in search of adventure and found that it wasn't as easy as grabbing a bag and setting off in search of it. The world is an unforgiving place...”

“I'm learning that...” Your hand reached out to grip his, your eyes filled with an almost childlike wonder, “,but I'm also learning that this world is changing fast, for better or worse in the middle of all that change hearts have been tempered in fires of adversity!” 

Neetrenaza stared at you with skeptical eyes, “So you are naive too...? How have you even made it this far?” 

Deflated, your eyes returned to a steady gaze, “Well you've clearly forgotten what hope and optimism feels like.” 

You looked down at your hand on Neetrenaza’s, not even realizing you had left it there, your thumb absentmindedly rubbed his hand, “I can't even pretend to have the slightest idea of what you've been through in your life or what it's like to see things through your eyes and I'm sorry if I made assumptions but, despite it all, you're still a good person. You saved me despite you having a strong dislike for Nords. Perhaps you're naive as well.” 

Neetrenaza opened his mouth to say something but couldn't find any words, his eyes searched yours and found that they were genuine...

“Thanks...” he mumbled.

Your brows furrowed, “Thanks? Me? For what?” 

“For apologizing. You're spoiled and entitled but you're more decent than most.” 

You suddenly felt an incredibly unwelcome sense of fondness for this Argonian, you swallowed hard, noticing finally that your hand had still not left his. 

Oh no, no, no, you've been holding his hand for far too long, sitting too close to him far too long. 

You've had experiences with other men, although they were strictly regulated and suitors were chosen by your parents... So this...this was new and frightening...

Wait...are you admitting that you're finding yourself attracted to...Neetrenaza? 

But he is an Argonian...you'd never even had a real conversation with an Argonian until today. Good gods what would your mother say...? Does such a thing even happen? 

He is new and different and there are many things you don't know or understand about the various different types of people in the world.

But...you've met Neetrenaza and you've learned that he is...kind and..difficult in an endearing way. He's clever...and strong. So what would it matter what anyone might think? And his skin is...mesmerizing...touching it would be...

You feel your heart start fluttering quickly in your chest. 

You quickly snatch your hand off of his, “I should go now. I'm sure I'll have to stay another night here and I have to wake early so I can catch the boat in the morning tomorrow.” 

Neetrenaza looks a little confused, “Okay. But you should at least wait for your clothes to dry.”

“No, no, that's okay!” you rushedly blurt out, “I can just..um...”

“I will bring them by tomorrow...?” He offers tentatively.

“Don't worry about it, I'll ummm...” You shuffle to pull your still soggy shoes backs on, stumbling your way towards the door, you hope you're not coming off as rude again, “I uh...” you pause for a moment, looking back at Neetrenaza, he's watching you curiously, “Thank you, Neetrenaza, for pulling me out of the water...thanks for saving my life.”

“Yeah.” he responded plainly, “don't fall back in on your way out.” he joked, expecting you to bolt out the door any second....

‘Was it something he said?’

You bit your lip, feeling more awkward by the second, “Goodbye.” you finally said before turning the knob of the barracks and heading back out to the cold winter day.

It was nearly time for a shift change and men were making their way to their beds, so you almost crashed face first into the chest of another dock worker as you made your way out the door.

“Oh, you're the one that took that nasty fall earlier.” he mentioned as he pulled back out of your way, “I thought Neetrenaza hadn't pulled you out in time and you were dead for sure.” the man laughed a hearty laugh as if what had happened to you was a trivial everyday thing. Perhaps around here, it was.... A frightening thought.

You laughed nervously, “Yes, it was certainly a close call. One I'd rather not repeat. Excuse me.” you made your way to walk past him and back into town.

“Yeah, you got lucky this time, lucky Neetrenaza had his eye on you and reacted so quickly.” he called back to you as you walked away...

 

You were back in your room at the Inn in the middle of town, bitter at all the strange looks you were getting from passersby at your inadvertently strange sense of street wear. You had almost died, yes, and you were having a rather unpleasant realization that you were beginning to ponder the probability of intercourse between humanoid species, specifically of the reptilian persuasion. Yes yo needed to get out of there, such thought processes feel forbidden. But maybe it would have been worth enduring it all to at least walk out looking put together rather than coming off as a vagabond. Nonetheless you survived the chuckling and double takes, and once you made it to your room you stoked a fire as fast as you could.  
Your feet were frozen again after having to wear them before they had managed to fully dry. You gave a deep sigh you didn't realize you were repressing the whole way here, you stretched your toes out as you lounged in front of the fire, “Mmmmm...”  
Only a few hours ago you were drowning in a frozen ocean...you really were extremely lucky that Neetrenaza jumped in so quickly to save you...falling in the ocean is dangerous enough but when it's icy like that? That's a death sentence if you're not pulled out quickly, the shock of the cold is what makes it so dangerous.

You remember seeing Neetrenaza cut through the water to get to you, it was unlike anything you'd ever seen before.... The way his body swayed in the water, his tail behind him propelling him further, faster.  
You shook your head of the thoughts, deciding to go about taking off the raggedy work clothes Neetrenaza lent you. You pull of the shirt and pants...  
And you remember how he pulled you tight against his body, you were shivering so hard but the press of his body against yours was comforting, you could barely manage to let go off him when they pulled you back up onto the docks...  
Your hands dip down to play with the hem of your underwear...  
His beautiful dark scales when he pulled his shirt off...the way the flames warmed them. He was surprisingly strong, and muscular. It was hard to miss...you remember how close he was to you, when he wrapped his arms around you, how hot his skin was, how much it thawed your very nearly frozen body.

Your hands grope at your chest, and your hand nearly dips into your underwear...

‘What am I doing...?’ you jump from your reverie, shocked at yourself, ‘This is...I only just met this man.... Granted, there have been others whom I've met and felt an attraction towards. I've met many worthy suitors in my travels but I had yet to want to sleep with any of them. Then again, none had saved my life so heroically, and none were so aggressive.’ 

Neetrenaza had a lot to say, and that was intriguing. He had tested you in a way you had never been tested. He was offensive and blunt, but that was refreshing in it's own way.

But...him being an argonian, you'd be lying if you said it didn't intimidate you. Your mind was reeling even trying to imagine their physiology...your mind was reeling, but it was also exhilarating and tantalizing.  
And what did you leave your homestead for if not for exhilarating and tantalizing experiences...

You licked your lips, your hand still hovering over your crotch....

“Bed, I should go to bed.” you whispered, jumping excitedly between your sheets.

 

You wake up, sprawled upon the bed, your hair was messy and tousled, your undergarments were...nowhere to be found. As if it wasn't intrusive enough to have memories of a shirtless, glistening, Argonian, now you have wet dreams to further distract yourself.

You had a good night's rest, so you get up and prepare to get dressed and request that breakfast be brought up. You had worked up an appetite last night. Among all the expensive teachings your parents got for you, the things you learned on your own seemed to be the most lasting...and the most useful, especially on the road.

You had managed to bathe and get a robe on when you hear a knock at the door.  
‘Finally, that must be my meal.’ you were starving and rushed to answer the door.

You swing the door open, simultaneously brushing your wet hair, “Hello, just set it down anywhere, th- Oh, hello again.”

You set your brush down, and you realize that it's not the in house service at your door but Neetrenaza...  
He is dressed in something other than work clothes and you imagine he doesn't have work today at all, considering how early it is.  
His crackling reptilian voice comes out slowly, “I've brought your things.” he hisses, “You left so quickly and I know you said not to worry about it but I- well I didn't think you should leave anything behind...”  
Neetrenaza notices your hair is still dripping water, and his eyes trail down your bathrobed body, “Sorry. I- I should leave you to-”

Just as Neetrenaza is about to make a hasty exit, a man bumps through him holding a large platter of food, “Where should I set this down miss?”

Both of you are slightly shocked but you managed to instruct the man to just set it down anywhere.

Neetrenaza eyes the food as the man enters, it's almost too much food for you to eat on your own.

Neetrenaza is still holding your clothes and you slowly take them from his hands, “You don't have to rush off. Why don't you come in? I think I ordered too much food, I won't be able to eat it all myself. And I should thank you properly, I'm sorry I rushed off before. So, what do you say?”

Neetrenaza blinks at you, thinking for a moment, he looks at you, then the food, “Alright.” he answers plainly.

You smile, “Great, I'll be right out, Come in, sit wherever.” you usher him in and he takes a seat at the table where the food is.

You duck behind a dividing screen in your room and begin to change out of your bathrobe. Thanks to the morning light, your figure casts a shadow against the divider, Neetrenaza watches you shimmy out of your bathrobe and pull on fresh clothes. You can't see him but he's struggling between tearing his eyes away and keeping them on the food in front of him.

Done dressing, you come back out and take a seat next to him. You're dressed in a simple dress with a V neckline, your guest gives you an appraising look as you sit down.

“That looks expensive.” Neetrenaza comments, almost dryly. To which you give a confused look in return, that was not the response you were expecting...

“Sorry, I mean, it looks nice...” Neetrenaza corrected himself, clearly it was difficult not to still harbor a little bit of resentment towards someone with money.

You blushed a little, “Thanks for bringing my clothes back.”

“Sure.”

“And, again, thanks for saving my life. I kept thinking about how terrifying it was being underwater, not being able to breathe...hardly being able to see, but I could see you. The Argonian who mocked me but jumped in anywa-”

“And you, the Nord who had gloated and fallen in anyway...” Neetrenaza interrupted, with a nod of his head.

“Yes well,” you waved him off, “even people like me make mistakes sometimes.”

“Hmph.” Neetrenaza grunted, but there was a glimmer of humor in his eyes.

Your finger teasingly traced the outline of a plate that had a sweetroll resting on top, “I thought you had put a hex on me at first.” you poked.

Neetrenaza burst out in a hearty laugh, hand slamming the table, “And every dark elf who looked at you sideways put a bloodcurse on you, and Khajiit can steal your soul with their cat eyes.”

“So I have fantastical views of the world, but at least I'm learning!” you huffed.

“You are a very strange girl.” Neetrenaza smirks.

You laugh for a moment, your eyes slowly falling down to your hands, your fingers twiddle awkwardly, “You know...I'd never even talked to an Argonian before you.”

Nodding, Neetrenaza’s raised a brow at you, “Very strange indeed...” 

You could tell he wasn't exactly surprised at you confession, but now seemed to not know what to do with the information.

“So...” he droned on.

“So?”

“So what did you think then? Still think I know how to put hexes on others?” Neetrenaza crossed his arms over his chest awaiting your answer.

“Ah...well...I definitely don't think you put a hex on me anymore, if you were going to pull me out why go through all the trouble of hexing me in the first place, “ you laughed, “,and I thought the way you swam was really amazing.” you added.

You eyes travelled up Neetrenaza’s arms, to his broad shoulders, “And your skin...Argonian skin is amazing, I had never seen Argonian scales so close before. And yours were...” you cut yourself off when you noticed how intensely Neetrenaza was staring at you, as if you were speaking to him in a different language.

“So, so very strange.” he mumbled.

“Alright, that's enough, I get it.” you rolled your eyes at him.

“It's not a bad thing.”

You locked eyes for a moment, and felt encouraged, “Can I...touch them?” you asked.

You had felt them pretty close and personal yesterday but you'd like to have the chance to run your fingers over his scaled, maybe even touch his horns, you wonder if it bothers them to be touched there...

“You want to...touch me?” Neetrenaza looked slightly perturbed...

“Gods, you're right, that's strange, I'm sorry I asked-”

“It's just, people don't normally take an interest in me. In any capacity, in fact I try and keep it that way. But, like I said, you are a strange girl...” Neetrenaza reached across the table to take your hand in his, “and...the interest, it's not a bad thing.”

You chuckled, biting your lip at the feel of his skin against yours. His scales were cool in the cold early morning. You took the opportunity to run your hands up his arms to the denser scales on his forearms. They were sooth, like his skin was lined with river smoothed pebbles. Your fingers gently continued their trail, closer to his shoulder.

You heard a purr like sound come from Neetrenaza’s throat, you smiled and continued you featherlike touch. Your hands reached his throat and his eyes shot open, “Sorry.” you said quickly.

“No, it's alright.” Neetrenaza leaned into your hand, the scales at his throat were the softest you had felt.

Neetrenaza was coming closer, and you felt a scaled hand graze your thigh, the feeling of his hand on you made you gasp, and you quickly blurted his name. His eyes slowly focused on you.

“Neetrenaza do humans typically...” you swallowed... you honestly didn't know, “I mean, is it alright for...me and you...to.”

Neetrenaza leaned back and moaned tiredly, “Do- ugh. Yes. Every combination you can think of, is either common, or has happened at least once. And, yes, humans and Argonians- we can...” 

Neetrenaza’s hands found their way back to you, he took his hand in yours and leaned forward, planting a kiss at your cheek. You sighed happily, hands rubbing his chest as you kissed him back. Eventually his hands were back on thighs, gently coaxing you closer until you found yourself moving from your seat to his lap.

Barely keeping in a moan you straddled him, wrapping your arms around him. Neetrenaza’s lip quirked like a cat’s as he leaned into you, his cheek grazing your own as he nuzzled you. You giggled at his peculiar behavior. You planted quick kisses at the edges of his lips, your hands moved up his shoulders until your fingertips ended up grazing, nearly grabbing the horns at the top of his head. A hiss escaped Neetrenaza’s lips as he gently rolled his head back to get your hands off his horns.

“Don't like that. Got it.” you offered apologetically.

“Nnnot so much.” he purred.

You opted to instead run your fingers through the feathers on the back of his scalp, this elicited a deep primal growl from the man under you, and the arching of his back to push tighter against you.

“Thaaaat, I like...”

You giggled, “So I see.”

You move to get his shirt off, itching to get a look at his bare body again. He raises his arms enough for you to slip it off of him and you're treated to a show of shimmering scales once again. You plant both your hands on his chest, splaying your fingers out as far as you can. Staring at him like you discovered a fresh diamond vein, eyes sparkling at the wealth of beautifully gemmed skin underneath you.

He laughed at your doe eyed gaze, “I don't think anyone has ever looked at an Argonian like that.”

“Well they should, you are,” you shook your head slowly, “so pretty and so much fun to touch...” you smiled.

Your felt your way down to his trousers,, and noticed that you felt nothing there, no erection or bulge. 

“We Argonians....er...we are more reptilian than just having scales...”

“You mean....you’re...they're internal...?”

Neetrenaza slowly nodded, looking slightly worried, watching your expression carefully.

Your eyes sparkled, “Fascinating...” you whispered, as your hands continued their descent downwards, you pulled his trousers downwards, teasing his crotch until his reptilian length teased its way out of its internal sheath. It grew and slipped sloppily between your fingers until you could feel his full girth in the palm of your hand, but the discoveries didn't end there. There wasn't the usual amount of dick between your fingers. There was one more than you were used to.  
“There two!?” you exclaimed, eyes bulging nearly out of your skull. 

Neetrenaza winced at your exclamation. You were beginning to think that getting to know these new and unique species of the realm was a bit too much for someone as green as you. You could barely handle one human appendage and now you were confronted with not one but two Argonian phalli....  
Neetrenaza might have wanted to calm you, but he was distracted by the hand you still had on him, he groaned as your hand slid up and down one of his shafts. His...manhood’s? resided directly next to one another, sprouting from the same place. He was incredibly slick, and his length tapered off at the tip, but the most interesting (and exciting.) characteristic of his genitalia was that it was lined with ridges, hundreds of ridges and a more bulbous decoration near the tip. 

The patterns were uniformed and organized, there were thicker ridges at the base of him and and smaller more tightly formed ridges closer to the tip. And his color there was a much more pale green compared to the rest of him. Your fingers traced him, one length and then the other, Neetrenaza was basically bristling at your touch, barely able to keep still as he wriggled underneath you while allowing you to explore.

“Technically,” he barely forced out, voice straining, “I still only have one.”

Oh right, how could you not have guessed. Along with all your studies you had, many focused on the natural world, fauna and flaura, and the like. And you had learned that almost all reptiles and many species of amphibians were something called...hemipenes.

You licked your lips and the look of him, you still couldn't believe your eyes, how could it be that creatures like this had existed all this time and you never knew! You may have been a little more than shocked at first but now you were more than eager to find out what he felt like inside of you. 

You stood up, you were still completely clothed, Neetrenaza watched you as you began to slowly take articles of clothing off one by one. His eyes were hazy, pupils blown with a hungry glint in his eyes. You slowly dropped your undergarments before taking a seat back on his lap.

Neetrenaza stared at you wide eyed, his eyes fixated on your breasts, his scaly hands trailed up your stomach, tickling you, until they reached the heavier flesh of your chest, giving them a firm enough squeeze that your breasts where bulging between his fingers.

“Humans are so ridiculously soft.” Neetrenaza growled, “I don't know how you've managed to keep from being nothing more than prey in the food chain.” he hissed.

“I don't mind being prey, at least for tonight...” you teased...

Neetrenaza’s eyes flashed with an animalistic glee as his hands gripped your hips. Nails digging into your soft flesh almost painfully as he pressed you more firmly against his body, your sex slid deliciously against his. 

Your wetness mixing with his. 

You moaned loudly as you felt his teeth graze your neck. Your fingernails scratched along his back, your hips bucking against him instinctually. You flexed your thighs trying to angle yourself just right so one of his lengths would slide inside you. Neetrenaza hugged you tight against his chest, angling himself with his hand against your opening. You felt his tapered length at your opening, and you slowly lowered yourself onto him, feeling him slide into you with surprising ease. Every ridge, and especially that bump at his tip made his entry feel all the more delicious. You could only manage a silent scream as he slowly entered you, massaging every inch of you as he did so. Neetrenaza was giving off a series of guttural noises, his fingernails pressing dangerously hard against the soft meat of your hips until he filled you all the way to the hilt, he fit inside you perfectly, your pussy stretching satisfyingly to accommodate his entry. You could feel all the unique characteristics of his length rubbing against that perfect spot inside you. The other half of his sexual organ was resting against your thigh, while the other was working inside you, bringing a pleasure you had never felt before.

A literal and oh-so pleasurable merging of classes. He felt so incredible that you had the inappropriate, most certainly offensive thought that sex was the ultimate peace bringer. Yes, fight hate with sex, this would be your new mantra, and your new mission would be to spread the word of your new found truth. You would pass it on by written word, orally, and a more physical form of expression....

You weren't sure what an argonian might do with the fact that he had two sexual appendages. It would take quite a bit of acrobatics and some exploration of positions to get them both inside you, given their positioning. But you figured it would be fun to keep them both stimulated. The other of his lengths was rubbing against your thigh as you rode him, leaving a glistening streak of precum on you. You took one of your hands from his shoulder and positioned it between the both of you. Wrapping your hand around him you began to stroke him, one hand pumping his length, while the other was deep inside you. Neetrenaza groaned loudly, loving the feeling of both your hand and your hot insides flexing around him.

Your hips moved faster and faster against him, relishing in the feel of him inside you, so many ridges massaging your insides, and that larger part of him rubbing against that special spot. Neetrenaza suddenly stood up, a strong arm supporting your thigh as he moved to throw you down on the bed.

With a soft grunt you lay splayed, bare and waiting on the bed, Neetrenaza angled his head downward to lick and nibble on your breasts with his sharp teeth as he jumped on the bed after you. 

He was incredibly gentle and careful while he teased you with his sharp teeth. But the fear that he might bite down too hard was there as you felt his teeth take one of you nipples and pull. The fear thrilled you, It almost wouldn't have bothered you if he left any lasting marks, or if any bites went a little too deep.

You wiggled underneath him, “Ugh, Neetrenaza, get back up here,” you were anxious to get him back inside you and fucking you with his pleasure decorated extremities.

Neetrenaza growled, but did as he was told, and once you had him back in front of you, you littered his face with kisses and and licks. Feeling his cold scales against your tongue. Your hands dipped down, angling the other cock of his back at your opening. With a hiss Neetrenaza reentered you without a second thought, this time his hips hitting yours at an even deeper angle with the opposite appendage, its inverse curve giving you a different sensation. Neetrenaza’s tail swayed as his hips bucked against yours, every thrust bringing you closer and closer to release. His head dipped down, and you felt his heavy breathing on your neck, but he was careful not to poke you with the horns that decorated his jaw.

You began to moan more hotly in his ear, encouraging him not to stop, to go faster, harder.  
Neetrenaza bristled at the sound of his name being moaned by you. His cock felt amazing inside you, every movement was hitting that perfect spot inside you more and more thoroughly. You felt your muscles tense around him, and you saw stars as his tip massaged just hard enough at that spot inside you, as your orgasm overcame you. You convulsed and arched your back against him, breasts crushed against his chest. You cried out his name as that last thrust of his hips sent you over the edge.

Shortly after you felt Neetrenaza’s hips pressed tightly against you, and his tail whipped around, underneath your thigh which was currently helping keep Neetrenaza pressed against you. His tail nearly smacks you in the face as it ends up being pressed against the side of your body. It's sliding gently against you, covering you in Neetrenaza's pheromones, pheromones that your human nose sadly lacks the sophistication to pick up on. Neetrenaza finishes shortly after you, you feel a sudden warmth on top of your thigh as the half of Neetrenaza’s length that remains outside of you reacts to Neetrenaza’s orgasm. With one last sweep of Neetrenaza’s tail, he collapses next to you, exhausted and sated. 

“I had no idea you were built like that.” you talk first, breathing still coming in heaving puffs of air as you slowly come down from your messy love making.

Neetrenaza cackles in his raspy voice, “Women are almost always taken aback the first time, but many learn to appreciate it.”

You were pretty much ready to admit defeat after yesterday's close brush with an icy ocean grave, but after this, you decided that every experience, even the bad ones, can turn into something even greater than what you expected. You were filled with refreshed sense of wanderlust, and also regular lust.

“I suppose you'll be wanting to catch that boat of yours soon.” Neetrenaza offers.

You nod slowly, a sudden shiver travelling up your spine,“Would you...walk me to me ship?”

Neetrenaza grins, “I will make sure you stay up on the ship this time.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you read this and know who I'm talking about, you're my favorite. This is another story I had my backlogs for years and im just going through all of them, getting them out there. Neetrenaza was the most throw away character ever but he was mean and I LIKED THAT. Really hope you enjoy, buy me a Kofi if you'd like to support your neighborhood fanfic writer. Link is in my bio. I do have other stories that are actually good with characters people actually know. Finally getting back into the swing of things and this is what I have to offer, hello.


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